Lately, I was able to sleep at 3 a.m. dawn. And it was followed by a number of long sleepless nights as we are preparing for our learner-centered materials. I am hoping for the impossible that maybe in a way I was able to grasp everything that was taught, hoping too that everything that was presented was understood. I am fortunate enough to experience how it is to be in a learner centered classroom. I was optimistic in a bit despite of the limited time and space that we enjoyed.Yet after I had gone through the preparation and the submission, plus the nervousness of being called during the judgement day as we call it, I come to realize that having a learner - centered set up is really beyond the horizon of what I experienced. After the pain of the fever and body fatigue that I had,,, IT RAINED...So hard..Tears rolled down since I thought there was understanding shown in my work although it was I know my initial learning of the matters that we talked about in class. When our mentor mentioned twice that the reason why we are doing all these hardwork is for him to see if there was this TRANSFER in us. I would always turned away from his gaze, As I was already apprehending that what if I can't show the understanding and the transfer that was expected at the end of this course? What would happen to me? I had so many what ifs..Yet I reminded myself the different leaner centered principles. First,the principle on individual differences that I may not be able to learn as fast as the others , what is important is the goal of the learner which is also another principle. But no, it won't justify things. There has to be the transfer that should take place after all the hard work and sleepless nights. But the big question is where is it now? I felt everything presses me down that I really had to let go the tears. The day after, I was looking for some inspiration after reading the comments of our corrected work. I come across the book given to me by a friend, entitled Teaching and Learning are Lifelong Journeys by Blue mountain arts collection. In it were thoughts on the art of teaching written by great writers. I was deeply touched with the lines written by Ralph Waldo Emerson that " There is no teaching until the pupil is brought into the same state or principle in which you are; a transfusion takes place; he is you and you are he" It caught my attention since for these past two weeks,I realized that no matter how many activities I had gone through, there was no "transfer" in me as far as my output is concern. I am in the state in which I was bombarded with big words starting form prior knowledge, cognitive dissonance, ontological misconceptions. reconstructing the schema, enduring understanding, essential question,transfer goal, real world purpose, learner centered principles, how do people learn, researches that supports them..oh,! they are too many that I really plan to quit. "The pupil is brought into the same state or principle, yet I did not become what is expected. It needs more of retuning and restructuring my schema I suppose.It needs more patience, openness do read more and ample time since a lot of hands on activities that keeps on lingering in my mind until these days won't assure of the benefit of undertanding. I decided to quit in a day. I will stop. But wait.. If I would stop, how can I correct my misconceptions? If I stop, how will I learn more beyond the knowledge and processes? If I would stop, would I be able to continue the journey of giving the learner centered class that each learner deserve to have? Well, I simply hope that it will rain again,, and maybe this time the rain hopefully be the blessing of wisdom in disguise.